Just for tonight I don't care if there are dishes in the sink.
Just for tonight I refuse to do any laundry.
Just for tonight I am going to sit in the middle of the un-swept kitchen floor and listen to Paige make phone calls.
I am going to marvel at how much she has grown and how mature she sounds as she solicits friends and family to sponsor her in her school walk-a-thon.
Just for tonight I am going to spend 20 minutes scratching Hailey's back as she falls asleep. I am going to remember the silly Kenny Loggin's CD that I used to listen to when I was little that plays each night while my little girls lay in bed. And after I am done scratching her back I am going to sit next to her bed and watch her little blonde curls and sweet little button nose for another 10 minutes until Brandon gets home from work and catches me.
Just for tonight I am going to take a few mental pictures of Easton's laugh. I am going to always remember those teeth that look entirely too big for his smile. And I am going to take an extra moment or two to let him kiss each twin. Again. And again. And I will hear him say "hi" to them enough times tonight that I will be able to hear it well after he graduates and gets married.
Just for tonight I am going to watch Abigail in Brandon's arms as he rocks. I am going to see how tiny she looks in comparison to his large protective arms. I am going to laugh at how we have started calling her "the pink baby" because it makes it easier to tell her apart from her sister. I will kiss her at least 100 times every time I pick her up. And I will touch every finger and every toe and marvel at how tiny and fragile each one feels.
Just for tonight I am going to turn off the TV and watch Caitlin as she nurses. I am going to remember those desperate little eyes as she frantically gulps. I am going to remember her little 4lb 15oz frame as she lays in my arms. I am going to focus on how tiny her preemie diapers are and how the preemie clothes are still just a little bit big at times.
Just for tonight I am not going to stress about needing to buy a new car. I am not going to think about money or work or where we will be in five years. I won't joke or complain about how I never thought I would have five children. I am going to spend every second that I have loving every moment that I can. Because tomorrow I am going to worry about the dishes and the floor and the car and the money and the dance classes and.... everything else. And tomorrow I might accidently blink. And all these moments will be gone.
So just for tonight my focus is where it should be.
Just for tonight....